You've done it again.

You've put yourself out there for him too see.
You gave him everything.
And still he left.
But he took your heart along with him...and now your left alone, in Australia, empty.

I feel fucking cold and bitter.
Only feel myself again when I speak to you.


Please. come back.

2 weeks and 2 days.

I'm still here, and I'm loving it.
All is swell in BabeTown.

She's Back.

Today I moved back to Melbourne, Victoria.
Its been just over a year since I last lived here.

I left with the intention of saving money to travel/move overseas. But I haven't saved a cent.
I blame the person I am in brisbane. I disapear in brisbane. All the people around me take, take take, and I give, give, give. It runs me into the ground, and leaves me broke. I'm not strong enough to say no.
In Melbourne however, I find i'm much more self-involved (in a good way I think). I am much more self reliant.
I like the person I am here. I like my own company. I like myself.

Its weird. The last few weeks leading up to moving I haven't felt anything. I'm numb.
You could say anything to me and it wouldnt ulter my emotions. I'm just blank.
I'm neither scared or excited. I'm just floating around waiting for the next big bang I guess.
I know in my heart I have made the right desision. I know that no matter how hard it is here, it is only harder in brisbane.
Easy is not always right. Comfort is not always a good thing.

I've learnt soo fuking much in my short life, and I know there is so much more to do and learn.
I can't wait.
I will save.
I will get overseas.

This is a good thing.. I hope.

Things.

I dont want them.
Keep them to yourself.
I only want you and what you can offer to me in actions and words.
Keep your objects away from me. They do nothing for me. They get locked away never to be used.

cpt

I was stripped bare.
I lay there with my heart on the floor.
You lift me up as high as I can possibly go.
Then drop me and I fall hard.
Now I lay there on the floor where my heart once lay.
Im broken and numb.

My mind is still a massive whirl pool of confusion.
It spits out all the possibilitys but none of them fit.
I was there.
Words can never express a feeling quite right.
I felt you.
So I don't believe you.

I cannot stop loving you.
I cannot move on.
I need to feel you once again.
I need to know the truth.

John Cooper Clarke

EVIDENTLY CHICKEN TOWN

the fucking cops are fucking keen
to fucking keep it fucking clean
the fucking chief's a fucking swine
who fucking draws a fucking line
at fucking fun and fucking games
the fucking kids he fucking blames
are nowehere to be fucking found
anywhere in chicken town

the fucking scene is fucking sad
the fucking news is fucking bad
the fucking weed is fucking turf
the fucking speed is fucking surf
the fucking folks are fucking daft
don't make me fucking laugh
it fucking hurts to look around
everywhere in chicken town
the fucking train is fucking late
you fucking wait you fucking wait
you're fucking lost and fucking found
stuck in fucking chicken town

the fucking view is fucking vile
for fucking miles and fucking miles
the fucking babies fucking cry
the fucking flowers fucking die
the fucking food is fucking muck
the fucking drains are fucking fucked
the colour scheme is fucking brown
everywhere in chicken town

the fucking pubs are fucking dull
the fucking clubs are fucking full
of fucking girls and fucking guys
with fucking murder in their eyes
a fucking bloke is fucking stabbed
waiting for a fucking cab
you fucking stay at fucking home
the fucking neighbors fucking moan
keep the fucking racket down
this is fucking chicken town

the fucking train is fucking late
you fucking wait you fucking wait
you're fucking lost and fucking found
stuck in fucking chicken town
the fucking pies are fucking old
the fucking chips are fucking cold
the fucking beer is fucking flat
the fucking flats have fucking rats
the fucking clocks are fucking wrong
the fucking days are fucking long
it fucking gets you fucking down
evidently chicken town

Beautiful Day

Lazy Sunday afternoon. 23 degrees. Not a cloud in the sky. Lounge chair. Sigur Ros live. Chocolate chip muffins.
Could it get any better?

I feel like painting...