Things.

I dont want them.
Keep them to yourself.
I only want you and what you can offer to me in actions and words.
Keep your objects away from me. They do nothing for me. They get locked away never to be used.

cpt

I was stripped bare.
I lay there with my heart on the floor.
You lift me up as high as I can possibly go.
Then drop me and I fall hard.
Now I lay there on the floor where my heart once lay.
Im broken and numb.

My mind is still a massive whirl pool of confusion.
It spits out all the possibilitys but none of them fit.
I was there.
Words can never express a feeling quite right.
I felt you.
So I don't believe you.

I cannot stop loving you.
I cannot move on.
I need to feel you once again.
I need to know the truth.

John Cooper Clarke

EVIDENTLY CHICKEN TOWN

the fucking cops are fucking keen
to fucking keep it fucking clean
the fucking chief's a fucking swine
who fucking draws a fucking line
at fucking fun and fucking games
the fucking kids he fucking blames
are nowehere to be fucking found
anywhere in chicken town

the fucking scene is fucking sad
the fucking news is fucking bad
the fucking weed is fucking turf
the fucking speed is fucking surf
the fucking folks are fucking daft
don't make me fucking laugh
it fucking hurts to look around
everywhere in chicken town
the fucking train is fucking late
you fucking wait you fucking wait
you're fucking lost and fucking found
stuck in fucking chicken town

the fucking view is fucking vile
for fucking miles and fucking miles
the fucking babies fucking cry
the fucking flowers fucking die
the fucking food is fucking muck
the fucking drains are fucking fucked
the colour scheme is fucking brown
everywhere in chicken town

the fucking pubs are fucking dull
the fucking clubs are fucking full
of fucking girls and fucking guys
with fucking murder in their eyes
a fucking bloke is fucking stabbed
waiting for a fucking cab
you fucking stay at fucking home
the fucking neighbors fucking moan
keep the fucking racket down
this is fucking chicken town

the fucking train is fucking late
you fucking wait you fucking wait
you're fucking lost and fucking found
stuck in fucking chicken town
the fucking pies are fucking old
the fucking chips are fucking cold
the fucking beer is fucking flat
the fucking flats have fucking rats
the fucking clocks are fucking wrong
the fucking days are fucking long
it fucking gets you fucking down
evidently chicken town

Beautiful Day

Lazy Sunday afternoon. 23 degrees. Not a cloud in the sky. Lounge chair. Sigur Ros live. Chocolate chip muffins.
Could it get any better?

I feel like painting...

Brunswick

Hardy Street

The month and a half I lived in Brunswick Melbourne was one of the most interesting, scary and horrible times of my life thus far.
I had packed my whole life into one suit case. All I had was this tiny room. a doona, clothes, a few photos and a blank diary.
I had no tv. No laptop. No internets. No cds. No books.
I just had my shitty little MP3 player which had about 10 songs uploaded on it.

I spent alot of time sleeping, eating and just generally being home sick.
I had only just started a new job, and had only been living in Melbourne for 3 weeks, so I knew nearly no one.
Everyday I wanted to shut out the world and hide in my cold room rugged up in my doona.
My housemates were horrible and I had no way to entertain myself to make the time go by.
I grew up in a household with cable internet, cable tv and music always playing in the background.
Basically I had no escape from myself and all my thoughts. It was me myself and I.
I was in Melbourne... alone.

As much as I hated my time living there - I also loved it and think it helped me grow up and learn new things about myself.
I started to care less about what other people thought.
I started to appriciate my friends a hell lot more.

I think sometimes its good to put yourself in a situation that you are not familiar with.
Its how you progress in life I suppose. You will never learn anything if you do the same thing day in day out for the rest of your life.
You need to get out there and meet people.
You need to get off your computer and spend more time with yourself.

I need to do this again.
I need a new challange.
Fuck it felt good getting through it all and moving out of that place.

But FUCK I miss Melbourne.

Also I just remembered, one night to pass the time I was listening to the radio. Picked up some random inderpendant FM channel. There to these 2 guys hosting and wanted people to call in. It was about 2am on a sunday morning, and I had nothing better to do so I called up.
I ended up talkin to them for about 20mins on the air.
Wish I remember what the hell we were talking about. I think it was something to do with the War in Iraq.

Sigh

My Festival Buddy.

BDO 05
Splendour 05
BDO 07
Splendour 07
Splendour 08
Parklife 08

It's always more enjoyable with you by my side.

I would prefer to cook you dinner.

A friend once told me that he believes cooking someone a meal is more intimate than making love.
I like this.

This all may sound a little weird. But sex like the word love can be thrown round to easy and loose its spark.
I do believe cooking for someone is much more intimate than having sexual intercourse.
Alot more thought goes into the whole process.
1st you must decide on a dish. You want to blow the persons mind so this decision can be hard and might take some time.
Secondly you have to head off to the shops and collect all you need for your dish.
Thirdly you have to prepare ur masterpeice. This can take hours depending on what your cooking. And alot of care has to be taken.
Next you cook. ( I like to think of this as the calm of the storm )
Once it's all ready you have to present your dish. You are trying to impress with your meal so presentation is important.
And lucky last, you get to eat !
This is what I call the Climax. The most intimate part of all. Everything you have done has built up to this moment. Will they like it? Is it tasty?
And FUCK... if it is, you feel just as good as they do when you see how much they like it.
All your hard work is all worth it when you know you've made them a tasty dish they love and enjoy.

How it all plays out in my dreams.

You start looking at me the way you looked at her.
We don't need to speak. Words are not needed. I can read your eyes clearly.
I love you but I don't trust you. I see the way you treat other girls. I want to stay and believe I'm different. I want you to love me. But not like you loved her. I've lost trust in everyone I know and the risk is to great. I won't let you brake me. Although its killing me to leave you.

You hear it from him, I'm leaving in 2 weeks. I know it's a shock to you. Your not sure what to do.
Everything I've worked for is to leave this place. I can't stay here. You know all this.
I still want you to ask me to stay. I want to come back for you.

We kiss. a kiss i've been dreaming of since the day I met you. It's more than perfect and again nothing needs to be said. I know everything you want to say.

I'm gone. It hits you hard, but not as hard as it hits me.
Have I done the right thing?
Leaving you was the hardest thing i've ever had to do.

I will come back for you. Will you wait for me?